Ladies who long for company

By Nirmala Kannangara

In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days long - Panin

For the 'residents' (inmates) at Lady Fareed Home for Elders the days are long. They want company, attention, love and happiness. Like the rest of us they too love to spend their time amongst their kith and kin. But the sad fact is that they do not have anyone  near and dear to dote on them and bring them a little happiness in these their sunset years.

They long to see someone visiting them. Anybody who visits them be it known or unknown they rally round them as if the guest is known to them for long years. When The Sunday Leader visited Lady Fareed Home for Elders in Pamunuwila Road, Makola, Kiribathgoda, the 14 residents were overjoyed. For some we were their friends and for the rest we were some of their kith and kin.

Established in 1957 and  opened by Sir Oliver Gunatilake the then governor general of Ceylon, this was the only elders' home for Muslims in the country then. This was a generous gift by Philanthropist Lady Ameena Fareed who also gifted Muslim Ladies College Bambalapitiya. She was  the wife of Sir Razeek Fareed, father of the Sinhala-Yonaka Ekamuthu Kama and the one who moved the Sinhala Only Bill in the then legislature.

Destitutes and those well to do

Governed by the Moors' Islamic Cultural Home and managed by a  committee, Lady Fareed Home for Elders could accommodate 60 although the number of residents are only 14 at present.

There are two types of residents - the destitutes, and those who can afford to spend on themselves. Those who are destitute are given free food and accommodation while those who could spend on themselves make a  contribution. "We do not demand a particular amount from these residents, but according to their affordability they give us money.

"This is a place where the elderly can spend the evening of their lives in a quiet and tranquil environment. It is tidy and comfortable and those living abroad prefer to keep their parents and loved ones at this home.

"Those who need medical treatment are attended to by our  doctor who visits the home twice a week, and the home provides them the food they really love to taste," said the management committee members on the basis of anonymity, to The Sunday Leader.

Mutual help

Enjoying the facilities provided for a comfortable life, the inmates gather at meal times in the well kept dining room and watch movies in the lobby. They are happy. They share jokes. They also help one another. The residents give a helping hand to those who cannot walk without  help. They also help out those who cannot do things on their own like combing hair etc. 

Although this home was housed in a grand old building earlier it later became dilapidated with time.  It is now housed in a new building  put up by Hajee Eliyas Abdul Kareem in memory of his departed  parents Abdul Kareem and Zubeida Mohamed.  The home shifted to the new building from September 2 this year.

Friendship and warmth

The childlike faces of these inmates speak volumes and they seek friendship and warmth. They need our love and care very badly and  sharing a few hours with them would bring them happiness and  satisfaction. Charity does not mean  just giving money.  It means providing  happiness - a ray of hope and light to those who are in the evening years of life.

"Although some are from affluent families they still love to get a present - no matter how small -  for it brings them happiness.

"There was a rich lady from Kandy - a teacher at Girls' High School, Kandy who passed away a little over two years ago. Though her kith and kin bought her what- ever she needed  she still loved to receive gifts from  visitors. Once I asked her what she would wish to have and she innocently came up to me and whispered 'a bottle of spray perfume.' The very next day I gave her the bottle of spray perfume," added the management committee member.

The Sunday Leader spoke to some of the residents and this is what they had to say about their  lives and how they spend their time at the home.

Ranee Cuttilan from Kandy, although old and feeble told The Sunday Leader that she was 16 years old.

Not given in marriage

Cuttilan  is forgetful, and according to her friends she was not given in marriage and she still feels sad about it. She is from a well to do family and her relations visit her sometimes. "I am 16 years old and I will be going home tomorrow. My father got a big house built for me and I'll be getting married tomorrow. Please do attend my wedding reception," she invited me to her imaginary wedding. She  held a doll in her hands and when asked as to who that was,  started stroking the doll's head. "This is my baby. I love her so much and I want to cuddle her," she said with an aching heart  and innocent smile.

Marian from Kannantota  is another inmate who spoke to The Sunday Leader.

"I am not married but have relations in Avissawella. They are not in a position to visit me due to financial difficulties. I have been in this home for the last 11 years and a few years ago I got TB and I was hospitalised in Ragama and Welisara. All my expenses were borne by the management. Although I am really happy here, I would like to stay with my relations.

Suffered immensely

"But this is life, what's to be done. From my small days I was working for a Muslim family in Avissawella but they ill treated me. I had to suffer immensely. Fortunately a kind hearted lady brought me here," claimed Marian.

"I am the only child and come from a well to do family. After the demise of my Mummy and Daddy my relations brought me here. I am really happy here. I do not want to go home again,"  said  Razul Jessima from Balangoda .

"I was adopted from my childhood and they brought me here. I have never seen my parents," said Abusa from Kandy.

H.M. Hijudeen, 76 years old,  looks after the home in the absence of the warden. He claims that he has a son who is a DJ and is longing to go back home once the construction of his son's house is finished.

Met with accident

"My wife is not living and I was a salesman in a mercantile firm and once the government sent my Indian employers back to India I worked at a security firm as a supervisor/control officer. I met with two accidents and now  one  leg is two and a half inches  shorter than the other. I am here for the past 10 years," claimed Hijudeen.

"I studied in a leading girl's school in Colombo but cannot remember the name of the school. Although I am staying here I am very rich. I like to go home but nobody  wants to take me," said Bin from Mt. Lavinia, innocently.

For those who would like to share a lighter moment with these innocents, the management is ready to arrange the setting for such a meeting. The management would welcome those generous enough to provide a meal or two to the inmates, and those who wish to have the meals cooked at the home could make use of the well kept kitchen - there are two helpers to give a helping hand  in the cooking - and share the meals with the inmates to bring a smile onto the faces of these helpless people.